I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
