I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
