my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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