Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
