Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize