I faked an abortion last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
