Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
