ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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