Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
