This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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