The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
