I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
