So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
