windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
