My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
