My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
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