WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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