I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
