"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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