Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
