im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
