i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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