So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
