i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize