We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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