I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Help. Why am I so naked?
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