Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
