Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
