ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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