Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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