So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
