we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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