i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
