i just google imaged poop.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize