he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
