Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A bitchslap is in order.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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