i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
