Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think my mom watched the whole time
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
