wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
