i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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