i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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