I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize