I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
