My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
