WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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