I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it glows. i had to have it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
