Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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