Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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