If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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