i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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