Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize