Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize