scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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