I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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