Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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