I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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