What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
